Outside the dojo we all know that person who imposes their opinions on others, or who cant of letting others learn without offering up unwanted solutions.
This precept highlights the importance of self-awareness and empathy in our interactions with ourselves and others first.
When you make more effort to look internally you begin to let go of judging others, for example if you see someone moving incorrectly, you don’t first tell them they’re doing it wrong and instead realise “Oh wait
– I’M making that mistake too!”
This mindset leads to spending more time on yourself and improving your own techniques rather than perhaps attempting to give others advice which, almost ironically over time, makes others more likely to look to, or ask you, for help with their own technique.
Or phrased another way you “control yourself” before attempting to influence others.
Taking this idea outside of the dojo – it has been said that often the things we dislike in others are rooted in a secret envy:
“Oh they’re such a show off” (I wish I could do that)
“They’re so cocky/loud” (I wish I had that confidence)
So can you think of an example where you worked hard to reach a goal others might be envious of? A medal winning performance, a promotion at work, an achievement in your home?
If you can, maybe the next time you think someone is “being a show off” you can appreciate they simply work hard and the effort shows?
If someone is confident in their persona, maybe you’ll see why and realise that YOU have every reason to be confident too?
Our thoughts are habits. We get used to making snap judgements, accepting what we think is the best we can do, or subconsciously assessing others before ourselves.
Only when we understand our own thoughts and behaviours, can we understand, and therefore positively, influence those of others.